To kill the pain
by Biotomegami Lyanvis
Summary: For novocain: He made him everything he was, and the cost was only everthing he could have been. When her scream ended on Kakashi’s blade, his mind refused to let it out.
1. One Can Burn The Pain Away

Kakashi did not love the men he was with. He did not think of them much at all. His mind was filled with another.

But of course, Kakashi was not in love with that man either.

Kakashi was not in love with Minato…

Perish the thought!

* * *

Obito was late.

Obito was always late.

Kakashi blames Obito for his tardiness.

(Though Obito being tardy was Kakashi's fault in this case.)

Had Obito not always been late, Kakashi would never have had the time to think on it; it would never have occurred to him otherwise.

But in his heart of hearts, Kakashi knows this is not true.

He would have asked the question of himself eventually.

All ninja of his kind did, eventually. That was part of the reason why Kakashi was always late. And when Kakashi showed up to interrupt when Sasuke turned to Sakura and Naruto to ask... that was why.

* * *

Minato had left very specific instructions. Be there at eight o'clock. Kakashi was there at 7:45. Rin cut it close, arriving at 7:52. When they had been waiting for Obito for over an hour, Minato sighed and looked up at the sun for a moment, seemingly deciding something.

"Kakashi-kun, Rin-chan…" both his students turned their full attention to him, Rin registering surprise, Kakashi simply waiting. "I am going to go find Obito. Wait for me here."

"Hai sensei!" Both students responded, a smile brightening Rin's features as the prospect of some alone time with her crush was imminent. Kakashi's answer however, was sharply military. Minato disappeared with the trademark Yellow Flash jutsu. Rin tried to make conversation between herself and the stoic, silver-haired chunin, but faced with his barrage of one word answers and semi-grunts, the river of words became only the drip from a leaky roof, falling at uneven intervals to Kakashi's ear, the sound more of a nuisance to the pail that received it. Finally, he turned to Rin and opened his mouth to speak.

* * *

It was once, and it did not mean a thing. Everyone needs to release stress.

* * *

That bitch Kushina.

That bitch /Kushina./

/That bitch Kushina!/

* * *

Kakashi tracked the last unfortunate member of the family. It was a task- a regrettable incident where ANBU had not been as cautious as they needed to be, and Kakashi was cleanup crew. She tripped and fell, and Kakashi followed her scrabbling form. She could not have been a day over ten. Red hair framed the wide blue disks of her eyes, open so wide they were the most prominent feature she owned.

"Please! Please, you don't have to!" She yelled, scrambling away from him. "I didn't do anything, I promise!" Her blue eyes filled with tears. Kakashi stared. You weren't supposed to make eye contact with the victim, and he never had, before. She couldn't see his eyes; see the way they filled with a hatred that was terrifying in its emotional detachment. "You don't have to!" she repeats, and he has the strange urge to mock her, to repeat the words she repeated in a childish way. Her hair is the same shade of crimson as that bitch Kushina, her eyes the hue as Minato's. She looked like any child they might have together. Kakashi instead lifted his mask, revealing his bare face to her eyes. She tried to run again. She knew she would have to die now. /"At what price does someone make you who you are?!"/ She screamed, trying to draw attention, to draw someone to save her, but she had run so far from help, that when her scream ended on Kakashi's blade, his mind refused to let it out.

Kakashi had already wondered about that himself.

* * *

It was more than once, and it didn't mean a thing. Everyone needs to release stress.

* * *

Obito didn't know the name of the ANBU that visited him at night. But he knew who he wanted it to be, and that's who he pretended it was.

* * *

Kakashi washed the black gel vigorously out of his hair. It had the advantage of changing his distinctive hair color and its style. It was surprising how many of the people he knew could distinguish a person by their silhouette. How ever, considering they were all ninja, the point was moot.

* * *

When he wanted submissiveness, he went to Obito.

* * *

Kakashi secretly loved the Sharingan eyes Obito possessed.

"Shut up." The black-haired ANBU snarled at the Uchiha staring him down in the mirror, Sharingan at full blast. The ANBU had caught him coming out of the shower. A slick body needed less lubrication, not that the other Shinobi cared. He slicked him with two fingers expertly; prodding his prostate and making him see stars. With his cock, he was no less an expert, making his moans grow louder. Hands fisted in the brunette's hair, yanking him back enough for him to whisper without a voice, the way the mask was built, it lost all identifying traces other than cadence, giving the other ninja no clue as to his identity. "I'm not Kakashi."

"Obviously." Obito drawled, somehow smirking infuriatingly into the mirror, even as the other Shinobi's relentless movements made his body arch up into the caress. Though he could have been in the utmost danger, he did not treat it that way, instead only talking to the ANBU as though he were his lover. Though the words were strange ones to give a lover. "But until I have your name, you can't stop me from saying it." He paused and managed a reckless grin somehow. "As long as you want me willing, that is."

It was like looking into the eyes of a demon.

* * *

When Kakashi wanted Domination, he went to Gai. This did not occur to him until a long time later, when the challenges had become a regular thing. Half of Gai's wins were just that.

Gai usually took a little coaxing. Some subtle prodding and a mention of his name usually did the trick. Some small mention of this being Kakashi's challenge would have Gai fired up and ready to go.

* * *

Sasuke was not usually impatient, but lately he had been more and more so. Sakura's full attention was on him the moment that he opened his mouth to speak, giving Naruto a brief reprieve from the Kunoichi's overbearing behavior. He shifted, almost uncomfortably.

"You guys…?" Naruto glanced his way now too, giving him that squinty-eyed look.

"Ehhh? What is it, teme?" Naruto asked semi-impatiently when Sasuke did not continue.

"We've got forever, but that doesn't mean you should take that long…" Sakura readied a punch that would have sent Naruto sprawling if Sasuke had not stopped her with his voice.

"You guys." This time his voice was a little firmer and a little irritated as well. "I have a question." Naruto blinked, for once his eyes wide open, the impossibly blue depths locked onto the ebon of Sasuke's own, who had split his attention between him and the viridian tones of Sakura's eyes.

"What is it, Sasuke-kun-" Sasuke cut across her, his voice starting before hers really finished.

"When someone else makes you who you are…" He looked back at his teammates, his friends, and continued, "What do you lose in the process?" The question was not as Kakashi remembered, but the meaning behind it was the same. Just as Naruto blinked and gave a cocky grin, his arms coming up to lace behind his head and said,

"That's easy-" Kakashi jumped down in the midst of them and started training without a word.

* * *

When Minato died, Kakashi decided to be everything he could have been. Not for Minato's sake, but for his own.

/Though/ he thought to himself, /he would probably be proud./

* * *

Kakashi was not in love with minato. Perish the thought.

* * *


	2. One Can Drown The Pain

Kakashi looked at Rin for a moment. Heartbeats were slower than the instant, yet it dragged on longer than Gai's speeches. Her eyes stayed to him, even as he looked away again.

"There's always something…" Kakashi murmured, and Rin's head tilted to one side in confusion.

"Kakashi-kun-" He cut across her, his voice beginning before hers really ended, continuing his sentence.

"What? I do not know. You must pay a price for everything. There is always some cost." Rin nodded, giving no voice to the thought spiraling in her mind, only allowing him to talk. It was such a rare occurrence, after all. "When we choose this life… or any life, really, what do we gain? What are we relinquishing?" Her eyes on his were thoughtful, and when he was sure he had finished, she spoke.

"Well, we gain the life we lead, of course. All the experiences and life choices that define us and make us who we are also defines the way we look at life. We gain our Identity and sense of self-" Minato appeared, speaking rapidly, as soon as he arrived, interrupting Rin.

"Well, now that we have the last member of our team, let's get started."

"Helping out little old ladies again, Obito?" Rin teased, as Obito was still slung over Minato's shoulder.

"Actually, if you must know, my ass hurts." He said coarsely. Rin blinked, and Kakashi almost smirked, not that any of them would have known if he had been.

"Went and got you a boyfriend?" Kakashi asked, tonelessly. Obito's face turned red, and he spluttered.

"Do you really have a boyfriend, Obito?" Rin asked in a near whisper. The boy's blush-filled silence was as damning evidence as finding him in the act.

"Bad taste he's got… a boyfriend that's always late…" Rin bit back the nervous giggle that threatened to come forth from Kakashi's statement. "You still have to train." Minato sweatdropped.

"I don't want to agree with such a harshly put statement, but you really can't let your boyfriend make you late for training," Minato put the boy down, "Especially if he's not going to be there when you wake up, Obito." Minato added softly, to just him. Obito sent him a fierce glare.

"I'm not a kid. I can handle myself. I don't need you to butt in." Minato sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair.

* * *

The black-haired Shinobi viciously thrust into Obito when his hand moved to his erection.

"No," said the Shinobi, his voice a soft whisper that Obito could barely hear over the blood pounding through him.

"DAMNIT, KAKASHI!" Obito yelled as his hand was roughly slapped back onto the counter. He glared through the mirror at the other male.

"You'll cum from my cock in your ass or not at all." He whispered. "I know a jutsu that would leave you horny and near-constantly aroused for days. And then you'll have to go to training with your Kakashi and you'll jump either him or your other teammate."

"What do you know of-" His words were cut off by a moan.

"I thought I should find out something about him. I might get jealous if you keep moaning his name…" Obito had stilled, his breath stopped. "I know he knows that you have me now…" the sharingan disappeared and as the Shinobi pulled away from him, Obito turned around and grabbed his arm.

"You won't... hurt him…" The masked stranger smiled, and Obito could feel it, the same way he felt Kakashi's smirks.

"Who is going to stop me? You?" Obito gasped for breath. Tears pricked his eyes that he forced away, but not before the Shinobi took note of them. He slipped the pure white mask from his face. His eyes were dark and unfathomable. His hand cupped Obito's head and he kissed him lightly, making the other boy's eyes flutter shut.

The Shinobi pulled away first.

"I'll leave him alone." A smirk curved those lips, lips that Obito wanted again. "Don't think that." Obito nodded as though he knew what he wasn't supposed to be thinking. "You aren't who I want." Obito blinked and shook his head, stepping away from the Shinobi. That face had made him lose himself.

"What's your name?" Obito asked, licking his lips, his voice hoarse, rough as though he had forgotten how to use it.

"…" The ANBU was silent for a moment, and then turned Obito around, back to the mirror. "Turn the sharingan back on." Obito did instantly, his hands landing back on the counter as the stranger's cock slid inside him again. The ninja shifted the angle of penetration and Obito did not care anymore who was behind him, as long as someone was, someone who could hit /just that spot…/

He did not hear when the ninja whispered his name to him.

"Kakashi…"

* * *

"Will burning it be necessary?" Kakashi asked, taking the scroll from the hands of the ninja that had appeared in his house that morning. The older Shinobi nodded solemnly.

"Remember that the mission must in no way connect to Konoha." The ninja responded. "Your skills are thought very highly of and you are being given this chance to show what you can do. Do this well and there may be a position as an ANBU in your future." The Shinobi turned away and disappeared. Kakashi left his home immediately.

Reaching the outer gates of Konoha, he opened the scroll and sucked in a breath. He was not easily surprised, but this was nothing he could have expected. His mission was to kill a Konoha Jounin and her family. Inuzuka Saki and Uchiha Megumi's marriage and subsequent birth of a second child had caused a stir, certainly, but had it been worth killing the whole family? And Megumi's death needed to be done publicly, so that there was no doubt that a Shinobi had done it.

Kakashi thought to himself, wondering idly if the recent string of Uchiha deaths were more than they seemed.

* * *

Will you kiss me the same… with the taste of blood on my lips?

* * *

Depression overtakes my heart like a blanket. As I sink farther into despair, my world laughs.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she walked away from Sasuke's door. She had made him a bento, but she just couldn't seem to find him today. She wondered about it was she walked to her other teammate's house. Since she couldn't find Sasuke, maybe she could browbeat Naruto into trying her bento. Thusly armed with her fists and a sense of righteous indignation, she continued on her way.

Getting there, all her senses started to prickle. The door was unlocked, unlatched and partially open. Sakura summoned up all her courage and put the bento down, hoping against hope that Naruto wasn't hurt. Judging by the soft moans carrying on the air to outside though, that wasn't the case. She pulled out a kunai. She'd learned a few medical ninjutsu from Tsunade, but she didn't know if it would be enough. She looked around. The place certainly looked ransacked, but she couldn't tell if that was just how Naruto kept his house. Suddenly, Sasuke's voice stopped her heart mid-beat. Sasuke had done this? Sasuke had come into Naruto's house and beat him senseless? Sakura shook her head. No… that wasn't possible. Sasuke would never resort to such underhandedness to win. She bit her bottom lip.

Though, the two had been acting rather strange lately… Naruto had been limping a lot.

A minute later, when the voice became definite, she wondered how she could have mistaken the two voices. They were similar, sure, in cadence, but surely Sasuke's voice had never been so roughened with… anger, she decided, and didn't let herself think anything else. She tiptoed closer, hiding her chakra signature as best as she could. The voice itself was both familiar and unfamiliar. It certainly sounded like Sasuke, but-

Sakura gasped. She'd gotten a glimpse into the room where Naruto was. The kunai fell from her fingers as her face covered in a bright red blush. The kunai never hit the floor. Sakura didn't notice in her embarrassment. As though giving more proof to the incontrovertible evidence of her eyes, Naruto moaned- loudly. Her eyes roamed his lover quickly and found that he indeed was not Sasuke. But he was the most beautiful naked man she had ever seen, next to Naruto. Naruto?! Her mind stuttered to a halt. Had she just thought Naruto beautiful? Inner Sakura jeered at her. /He wasn't beautiful… He was so gorgeous he was to die for!/ She couldn't tear her eyes away. And the pale youth behind him was similar enough to Sasuke that she could feel ashamed of thinking that Naruto was better-looking.

/But he is!/ Inner Sakura crowed with delight. /And my, he most definitely is a man… Maybe I shouldn't hit little Naruto so much… hit on him instead…./ Her eyes hungrily roamed the two boys. The one behind was taller than Naruto, she judged by maybe three inches. His hair was unruly, as though someone had been running their fingers through it, and, Sakura thought dazedly, that someone was likely Naruto. Naruto, whom she had always treated like a kid. Naruto, who had been successively more late to training but never arriving after Kakashi. Naruto, who had been limping- and now Sakura knew why- as he walked. The other boy looked to the door that was open just a hair and grinned lazily at her. His fingers wrapped around Naruto's cock and started to stroke.

"Sasuke!!" Naruto exclaimed, and Sakura's mind reeled with shock. The boy kept looking at Sakura as Naruto's moans became more desperate. His voice was not one she knew, but the cadence and tone was all Sasuke- and that image only made the whole thing so much more sexy-

"Cum. Now." he demanded of Naruto and Naruto exploded white onto the bed sheets, causing Sakura to blush even harder. She was uncomfortably wet, and his voice rocketed through her system and sent tremors down her spine, triggering a small orgasm from her as though he'd been talking to her.

A hand covered her mouth almost as soon as the boy glanced down to Naruto and a strong familiar? arm wrapped around her waist and hoisted her up, disappearing with her. As soon as her mouth was freed, she was ready to scream, but Kakashi's amused voice interrupted.

"Watched your fill, Sakura?" Kakashi asked, making her blush even more and wipe away the trickle of blood making it's way from her nose. When she didn't respond, Kakashi continued, "Don't talk to Naruto about it unless he brings it up with you." Idly he wondered to himself if Rin had ever seen, but Sasuke was a lot bolder than Kakashi, Kakashi's visits had always been behind closed and locked doors, at night. He locked down on the memory. Sakura nodded, and he handed back her kunai.

* * *

Not the end.


	3. One Can Bury The Pain

Sakura started to notice small things about her team.

Sasuke did not look at Naruto, though the blonde boy kept stealing glances in his direction.

* * *

His last breaths were on stage, he sang, his powerful voice carrying on even after he fell to the ground. The crowd went crazy after a moment of stunned silence. The ninja among the crowd would already be looking, the white masked Shinobi knew. He kept moving swiftly. The eldest girl had escaped him, and he let her run, knowing that fear would keep her from going towards where she knew there would be more ninja. He stopped to kill Megumi second, after killing Saki and the baby, as only Megumi's death needed to be public.

* * *

Uchiha Megumi's face lit up in a smile as he looked up into the crowd, hearing the cheers and applause as the last thing in his life. His body slumped forward over the mic stand. It fell, and the soulless, lifeless body fell with it, shuriken embedded in his back. Almost simultaneously, a scream rose up from the crowd. Kakashi pursued the girl from the shadows. He would have liked to be done with it by now, but to have a clear shot; he would have needed to get into the open.

The act of chasing such a young, terrified girl left bitterness in his throat. He could see her as she ran the streets and out, out, into the forest. She recognized her mistake almost immediately, he could tell by her hesitation. But she ran anyway, perhaps hoping to outdistance her pursuer.

Kakashi appeared behind her. The mask completely blocked out his face, leaving only slits for eyes that were expressionless. He noted the way the mask distorted his voice, taking all the distinctiveness from it, excepting only cadence, making it unrecognizable, even to him.

"You have been rather troublesome..." Kakashi enjoyed the way the Nara's word spilled from his tongue and voided his mouth; perfectly shaped, it took some of the bitterness lodged between his tonsils that he thought he would never remove. She jumped, turned, and landed badly, twisting her ankle and letting out a small cry of pain and surprise. She fell, and scrabbled backwards, away from Kakashi, even as he moved forward. Her terror was... satisfying, heady, like an elixir that would intoxicate. She could not have been a day over ten. Red hair framed the wide blue disks of her eyes, open so wide they were the most prominent feature she owned. He wanted to rip-to tear-to shred, to hurt, he wanted to see her _hurt..._

_because her pain would be so lovely, would it not? Because to see this little bastard child remind him of what was taken from him by that **wretched/ugly/hideous** Kushina- what he could never have to see like a promise the fact that any progeny of theirs would suffer like it deserved to- prophecy- he whispered in his own mind and let it stay a hidden thought_

But her words like a slap- like a blow to the gut- like being winded, _HOW DARE SHE VOICE HIS THOUGHTS THAT WAY!?_ and all she sees in his eyes is fury, a cold fury as his blade slices first her throat. But he grins.

He grins, because- no, she is not dead yet.

No. Kakashi would have some fun.

* * *

"About your question earlier, Sasuke-teme..." Naruto drawled, as they were both spread out on the ground, each pretending they were not as tired and sore as they actually were. Sakura nearby sat up a little further against the tree behind her, as Sasuke pushed himself to his elbows with a silent- ow, ow, ow,- to look at the blond.

"Yeah? What about it?" Sasuke asked, trying not to sound interested. Naruto didn't sit up, instead choosing to look up at the darkening sky.

"There is no price." Both Sasuke and Sakura looked confused by this assessment. Naruto continued on, as blithely as always. "I don't look at it that way, really. We might have to give up on some normal civilian things to be what we are, and sometimes, it's harder than we'd like or will even admit, but in the end, I think that this is the only thing that we- that I could be doing. I just can't see myself as anyone other than Naruto: Genin ninja with the ambition to become Hokage. This is my path, my only way. And it's just... right. And you want revenge on that one person, don't you?" Naruto asked, turning over to look at Sasuke finally, who had stiffened, and was even now in the process of summoning up enough energy to lance glares Naruto's way that the blonde was impervious to. Instead, he sat up and stared Sasuke down. Defiantly, he said:

"You have us to help you get there." Sasuke sat up immediately and opened his mouth to shoot down Naruto's statement, but Sakura was quicker.

"NO! We are a _team,_ Sasuke. Anything we do, we do together, remember? And as for your question," Sakura said, changing the subject smoothly with an air of finality, " Well,-"

* * *

Rin stirred her drink with its straw thoughtfully, sitting next to her teammate on the cool day. She had out the question to Obito, and he was still deliberating over an answer. But Rin turned to Kakashi with a sigh, and tried again to provide the answer.

"I think the answer is everything you're not." She said. The answer satisfied neither of her teammates. Kakashi only hmmed and glanced at the redhead across from him, Uzumaki Kushina. Obito noticed the direction of his glance and grinned.

"Hey, don't forget that she's taken, huh, Kakashi?" Obito said, nudging his teammate with his elbow. Somehow, Rin did not think that interest was the reason he watched her, noticing the cast to her silver-haired teammate's eyes.

"I never forget." The word 'anything' went unspoken, but Obito took it as a sign of Kakashi's ego that he did not say it. Rin though, she looked at her teammate and took his statement the way it was intended. Kakashi never forgot Kushina was taken.

* * *

That bitch Kushina.  
That bitch _Kushina._  
_That bitch **Kushina!**_

* * *

It was only a minute that Kakashi had to take with his former sensei; only a second is what it seemed. But Kakashi decided to forgo words and yanked down the mask he wore, pressing his lips against the other man's, to use his lips in the way that he would never be able to use his words. Shock against shock; Kakashi was surprised when his urgency was returned and he was crushed into a kiss.

"You pick the absolute worst times…" He murmured into the kiss and Kakashi delved his tongue inside when there was space enough, wasting no time. The kiss was broken by the urgency of the situation; otherwise, it likely would never have ended.

"You have to live." Kakashi demanded, almost unreasonably, and the blonde smiled at him.

"No, Kakashi; you have to live." The first kiss was the last, but it was the best either had ever had.

* * *

Minato died that very same day in sealing the Kyuubi.

The next day, Kakashi sought Gai out, and Gai reciprocated.

* * *

It was rough, and rough felt wonderful, felt better than being rough. His hands clenched into the sheets as he bit back a scream. Kakashi knew it would hurt later, it would hurt tomorrow, it would hurt for days afterwards, but the pain was worth it, the pain reminding him of the pleasure peaked so high as to temporarily relieve the pain in his soul. If he concentrated hard enough, the pain too was enough.

"You're going to feel this tomorrow, Kakashi…" Gai says, as his cock pistons in and out of the man beneath him. Kakashi never thought that words could be so erotic. He did not need names, he hated using names, so personal, and they always already wanted it to be him.

"I'm not Kakashi…" Kakashi managed to say through the blinding pleasure of Gai's cock tearing up his ass and stroking his prostate continuously. Gai does not answer. Instead, he stops the motion of his hips with his full length in Kakashi's ass and grinds into him, nothing more. Gai's breathing is carefully, tightly controlled. He will not give in to his desire to brutalize this man's ass any further. The black haired Shinobi beneath him took deep breaths, squirming, his hands curling and uncurling as he tried not to give in. Gai would not continue until he had his way; the man's efforts to move are in vain. His hands are on Kakashi hips, holding on with bruising force that Kakashi squirmed against. Gai pressed forward a little more, and the already sensitive tip of Kakashi's cock began brushing back and forth against the bed sheets. Gai rocked them; not moving in and out but rocking their bodies back and forth in this manner, letting the wrinkles in the bed sheet made by their vigorous activity just barely brush his cock. The Shinobi wept. "Alright!!" he said, unable to take any more. "Alright, I'm Kakashi!!" Gai reached down and stroked the slimmer man's cock slowly, tenderly, with his fingertips, just barely.

"Are you going to deny it again?" Kakashi shook his head vigorously no, and Gai wrapped his hand more around Kakashi's dick and stroked it more fully in reward.


	4. One Can Let Pain Fly Away

This is a book of firsts. Firsts, and lasts, and middles, and everything else too. But, this is not a book that ends. This is not a book of ends or endings or anything of that nature. It is also not about beginnings- in fact, this book never begins! The truth in a story lies in the fact that a story's beginning starts with the conception of that universe and a story's ending does not denote the end of that world. This book does not breathe, but in your mind, the characters will. They exist, as surely as you do. If only you had the will to explore, their story will unfold in thousands of dimensions every second with every minute shift of thought. When you put this book down and think about the characters, you bring them to life. You become the god of the story.

You hold the power.

Use it wisely.

* * *

"Do you want me?" Itachi asked, his back towards Kakashi, as he stripped off his shirt. Kakashi nodded slightly and responded. The answer was like tumblers in a lock. The wrong answer and Itachi would leave. The slightest variable would have Itachi turn and give him that _look,_ and he would leave Kakashi feeling like a chastised puppy.

"I want you like I've never wanted anyone else." It was a touch of ego stroking that Kakashi did not mind. With how hard he had worked to find the right answer, the words did not matter overmuch. Itachi deserved the ego stroking response, and lies were easier than the truth anyway. He had wanted others more- one other in particular, but Itachi was worth it.

* * *

"What you're talking about, Kakashi, is opportunity cost," Obito says, proud to have remembered the economics lesson from the Academy. The Academy seems so long ago, to all of them, though Kakashi was a chunin before they even entered the Academy. He never brings this up, and neither do they. "Anyway though…. Kakashi, I don't think that's the real question," Obito says finally. "The cost is only everything we could have been." Obito shook his brown hair out of his eyes and looked- really looked at Kakashi: in one of his rare serious moments. "I think the question you really want to ask-"

* * *

"Do you need me?" Itachi asked, his fingertips skimming under the waistband of Kakashi's pants, his head down, face blocked from view by that long ass hair of his as he undid Kakashi's pants. The light touches drove Kakashi to distraction, as always. His partner was a sadist, it was often said. Kakashi very nearly stammered. Only the fear of Itachi leaving kept his baser instincts from taking over.

"I need you more than the air I breathe." This line Kakashi had paid very dearly for. Blood, sweat, and tears, and it was worth every drop to get Itachi to stay. Kakashi only feared one thing, and that was to be alone. Itachi was his teammate, and this made their teamwork seamless. Each motion corresponded to an emotion to a reaction that would have them moving in perfect sync without words. And sometimes Itachi felt whimsical.

* * *

Jiraya stared down at his ink-stained hands and smiled. He had finally finished the foreword for his epic book and it was perfect. He sighed in contentment.

* * *

The death of the child was never directly linked to that of her parents. In the record books, the hypothesis ran as follows:

8:14:05. An unknown assailant kills Saki and Yamcha in the dressing room. The eldest daughter Mayuri escapes the assailant.

8:30.24. Megumi finishes his set and is killed by an unknown perpetrator, presumed Shinobi, also presumed to be the killer of Saki and the youngest child.

9:47:42. a villager spots Mayuri running into the woods. No one is observed following her.

10:24:05. Presumed time of death for Mayuri. Victim's body is viciously attacked and cleaved nearly in two. Body bears marks similar to that of rape, but investigation does not find seminal fluids or foreign particulates. Due to the violent and contradictory nature of the assault, it can only be assumed that a second assailant attacked the girl once she had escaped the first.

* * *

"Do you love me?" Itachi asked, pulling his lips away for a moment to ask. This answer had taken Kakashi longest to earn. He closed his eyes against the distracting sensation of Itachi's lips returning to his cock, but it only intensified the feeling and he jerked his eyes open, as always. Itachi swallowed him down all the way, as Kakashi opened his mouth to speak. He let out a breath of air, trying to calm himself. If he stammered, Itachi would leave.

"I love you more than anything in this world." Itachi's smile/smirk as his lips released Kakashi's cock was a temptation onto itself. Itachi stood and allowed Kakashi to strip him. Sometimes Kakashi wondered what this meant to Itachi. Sometimes he hated the sound of moans. Sometimes he loved them. Kakashi tried to avoid making any kind of noise until Itachi had. Sometimes Itachi rewarded him for his patience.

* * *

Sasuke slept, curled into the warmth Naruto provided. Sakura curled against him, though she lay awake. The night was cold and the ground was rough. Thus, in Kakashi's mind, both time and place were perfect for camping. Sakura huddled against Sasuke a little more under the blanket and in sleep, his arms tightened around her. A few weeks ago, she would have been elated at how near she was to Sasuke, but now she had mixed feelings on the issue. He shifted a little, and Sakura tried to shift away, not wanting to wake him, but only managed to turn around in his grasp. She looked at both her teammates to distract herself from his nearness. Naruto's face buried in Sasuke's back as though he were a human space heater, one arm around his chest, the other one lower down, around his waist. Sakura tried hard not to think about what she had seen, but it was difficult. Her mind clicked off almost completely when Sasuke pulled her close again in his sleep. Sakura's eyes closed and she drank in the delicious warmth emanating from the two of them. Sakura sighed, cuddling into Sasuke to get as much warmth as she could, wishing the next day would come soon.

* * *

"Do you love me?" it is Kakashi's turn to ask. He had not learned this one for a long while. Itachi's answers were always different, to every question besides this one. Itachi liked when Kakashi bit his nipples and Kakashi did, through the ever-present cloth on his face. The nine-year age gap between them did not really affect them, but it did make them keep things secret. Not that Kakashi wanted anyone to know of this, in any case.

"I'm in love with my lust." Itachi responded, letting out a soft sigh when clothed teeth grazed sensitized nipples. His head fell back when those same teeth set to his neck. "We'll turn angel wings to dust." Itachi allowed him to caress his bare ass, bites returned. "Our breaths are heated sighs." His hand wrapped around the base of Itachi's cock, stroking it slowly. "They take us far across the skies."

* * *

And when Naruto's eyes fill with tears he tries so hard not to shed, when Sakura cries so hard her body shakes, when Tazuna realizes how hard the life of a Shinobi is for the young ones- even for the old ones, Kakashi is nearly paralyzed. Not because he had thought- _he would never admit to himself that he thought this team would outlive him, Kakashi would live forever_ that his student was dead. Not because he had no words to give to help grief pass. When Naruto realizes for the first time- when Naruto realizes _Wow, death is real…_ for the first time, Kakashi is not able to help him through it.

If the pseudo-death had belonged to Naruto, had it been Naruto who 'died', Kakashi would have consoled the other two and would have taught them that lesson quickly. Nevertheless, Kakashi cannot teach Naruto about death. Naruto's birth killed his mother- _and somewhere Kakashi is glad that childbirth killed that damn bitch, she did not deserve to live anyway-_ and his life killed his father, the father Kakashi knew and Naruto never met. When Sasuke miraculously returns to the land of the living, none there is more relieved than Kakashi.

* * *

"Do you need me?" Kakashi asked, and here the answers varied. Sometimes Kakashi wondered what would happen if he just left like Itachi, but he knows he does not have the power. If he were to just leave, then he would never have another chance. After all, Itachi does not need this as Kakashi does.

"Only to watch my back and provide my pleasure." The touches became rougher. Kakashi found himself up against the wall and he reversed them. Itachi's soft moan when his back hit the wall was pure eroticism. Kakashi grabbed a tube of lubrication from the dresser next to them.

* * *

It was a swift thrust to the throat, with a blade sharp enough to split hairs, thin enough so any cut received would seal almost instantly. It was a blade reserved only for ANBU, or for the elite, reserved for missions requiring torture.

His father's blade pierced the girl's throat, ended her screams. He stripped her of clothes as she sobbed, and when she struck out at him, he very deliberately broke two of her fingers. He shoved two fingers in her mouth, two fingers down her throat, the same number of fingers he had broken. She whimpered uncomprehendingly. His fingers entered her roughly, and if she had the ability to, she would have screamed. What came out was a sound like strangling a cat underwater. Blood covered his fingers from his breaking her hymen and he shoved his fingers in deeper, using them to fuck her ruthlessly. Her back pressed against the bark of the tree. The roughness of it tore open the skin on her back and made more blood. His left arm pressed her harder against the tree.

The fingers go back in her mouth, gagging her on the taste of her own blood.

The sword enters through her stomach, up through the diaphragm, bisecting the bronchial tubes. The eyes of the killer are cold, hard, ruthless, yet somehow darkly amused- pleased. Hands with broken fingers and torn off fingernails scrabble at the hilt of the sword. He smiles at her sweetly, and for a moment- a moment as precious and fleeting as a heartbeat, she does not feel pain, so entranced she is with the handsome boy's smile. His lips find her in a sweet gentle kiss. A malicious wrench of the blade twists the blade within her and she makes a sound- (_a sound like **betrayal,** but didn't she know that he was going to kill her? Didn't she know what it meant to have a sword in her stomach? How can she sound so **betrayed** if he stabbed her before he kissed her? The murderer wonders to himself,)_ as it aligns with her spine. A jerk of the blade has her on her feet. It sliced through her sternum with uncanny ease. The sound of flesh splitting, and bones breaking/cracking/shearing apart follows closely, _but not too close_, perhaps a full .03 nanoseconds after the flash of steel as it rockets up, over and back down.

The source of the pivot was the exact center of the skull. The tip of the blade swiveled at that very spot, and then continued with no loss of momentum on its downward path, truly now bisecting the spine, perfectly down to the pelvis, where the blade simply stops. The corpse falls to the ground with a dull, sickening thud. Its blood was everywhere.

To the assailant, the body no longer has gender. It is simply a body. A corpse with no name, no face, and no importance, except it is the first person that he has ever mutilated, the first mission that he had ever been required to kill someone on, his fourth kill in one day.

* * *

Kakashi looked down at his blood soaked hands and wondered if he would be able to meet his sensei's eyes the next day.

He does not flinch away from meeting that blue gaze, but Minato can sense the change, feel the blood on his student's hands, and inwardly, he grieves.

* * *

"Do you want me?" Kakashi stalled the question for a while, having had teased the Uchiha with his fingertips, touching the entrance lightly, stroking his testes with one finger until the slowness threatened to destroy him. Itachi loved it rough, and the light touches tormented him more than it tormented Kakashi.

"Yes!" Itachi gasps out. There is no preamble, no lyrical dissension or delaying tactic as with his other answers. There is only want, a want Kakashi is willing to fulfill. There is only need. There is only the pressing need for roughness, pain, to fuck, and be fucked. It is nothing more. That is why Kakashi shoves two fingers in now, with no hesitation.

* * *

Itachi Knows.

He knows, and it's so _twisted_ that he's just so _yes, he's twisted, so twisted, everything is so fucking twisted, and he is no exception- fucked up, crazy, twisted like everything, everything is so fucking twisted and fucked up and over and sideways and upside down it makes you want to scream- go on, scream in this madness. Scream, my lovely, but no one will hear you. No one cares. Not in this twisted fucking world. Twisted like everything_ so twisted, that he does not just _not care,_ he _likes_ it.

* * *

Sakura's face stung with the force of the slap, her head turned away, and her eyes became cloudy with tears. Naruto stared at his hand in (horror, you would think, since he just slapped his teammate, but no, he stares in) something akin to disgust.

"I don't have a boyfriend." He said, his voice empty, frighteningly so. Sakura has never heard Naruto sound so _empty_ before this. He looked up at her, and she was afraid to speak, her mouth gaping open like a dead clam, the tongue meat no longer useful. "Don't come to my house again." The empty rings of defensiveness, something he feels like he needs to hide. The old man of the ramen shop who knows Naruto's attachment to his teammate is surprised as well; he makes no sound, breathing hollowly, shallowly, even as the pink haired girl hyperventilates. "I don't have a boyfriend." He repeats, sliding off the chair. "I'm full." His second comment is to the ramen man, coins to pay for the meals, both his and Sakura's -as it congeals into a thick gelatinous mass that would be distasteful to even Naruto- clink on the counter. He does not look at Sakura.

"Naruto- Naruto-san, wait!" The added suffix froze him in place. Even Sakura was not quite sure why she had added it on, except perhaps to try to placate his cold rage. "I'm sorry I pried. I didn't mean to, I was afraid you were hurt or something-"

"I wasn't." He said, a tad unnecessarily, And Sakura wonders at the change in him. Naruto used to be so open… now he was so secretive. His face was a book under lock and key, one whose cover you could only see behind a distorted silver pane of glass. Nothing could be read in his face at all.

* * *

Itachi's fingers curled under Kakashi's mask. Kakashi slammed his hand over Itachi's eyes. Stalemate. Kakashi waited until he heard Itachi whisper-

"Mangekyou Sharingan." He felt the chakra flare that let him know that it was really on before he let go his hold. He had a brief moment of surprise, noting that the pattern of the tomoe was different from his own, borrowed Sharingan, different from the other times he had seen it on Itachi. Itachi yanked down his mask before-

--Flash--

Minato yelped when Kakashi entered him. There was an undeniable urgency, a need to be rough, be quick, there was no time, no time at all.

"Kakashi…" Minato moaned as the younger man thrusts repeatedly, harder, and faster and deeper.

--Flash--

A kiss, shared, roughly and intimately in the few moments before battle and Kakashi feels like heaven. A memory to savor, a life to live before the roar of the return of Kyuubi-

--Flash--

Understanding in pain, lips together with Itachi's, muffling moans produced by the other's mouth as he cums all over Kakashi's chest. The genjutsu held for such a short time, Itachi's lack of concentration- Kakashi does not care. He saw Minato again, even for a few, short, precious moments. He keeps moving his hips- he has not had his climax yet, and Itachi would not care if he kept going.

Sometimes he thinks he can make out the name that Itachi murmurs in pleasure, very low, and it makes Kakashi smirk. He knows he has heard it at least once before, when Itachi was top. There is no rigmarole, no tumbler series of locks when Itachi initiates things.

Kakashi understands that there is pain in him far greater than what he is experiencing right now. Kakashi knows that Itachi comes to him because they both understand that, sometimes, physical pain will cleanse the emotional pain. Kakashi wants the Sharingan, wants Obito and Minato, both of whom are irrevocably, irreplaceably dead. Kakashi is only twenty-two years old, but he feels older. He feels older than the Sandaime even, sometimes. The weight of his pain is like a curse. Itachi has pain that Kakashi cannot understand. No one feels more betrayed than Kakashi when Itachi leaves. He hates Itachi, hates him for leaving when he was the only one who understood. He under stood, Kakashi knows. In time, Kakashi could have understood him as well.

Pain was a living thing. Kakashi wondered what Itachi saw behind his eyes when he closed them. Who he thought of while Kakashi was fucking him, bringing him the pain that could- at least temporarily- obliviate all else. Pain lived, pain breathed, and pain provided an outlet for itself at every opportunity. Like addiction, pain was a drug.

Kakashi voided himself inside Itachi, emptying himself of seminal fluids. He slumped forward, his head on Itachi's shoulder as Itachi eased himself down. Kakashi lifted him slowly off his cock and helped him down; head close to Itachi's just to hear his little whimpering sigh when he slipped out.

* * *

Kakashi closed the door behind Itachi slowly. He could feel the smile/smirk on his face but did not care…

"Who do you want me to be today?" Itachi asked, and Kakashi gave a smirk of his own as Itachi began pulling off his weapons and placing them- Thunk, thunk, Thunk, thunk, so rhythmically, it was a beat almost like club music, like heartbeats, and god knows what else- onto the solid mahogany table, keeping his back towards Kakashi. Minato, Itachi expected the answer to come. Obito. Sometimes even Gai. Sometimes, it would be just- _be a victim._ Sometimes, it was _I will not be looking at you, so I do not care._ The answer was always swift. The sound of his shifting, the soft intake of breath, Itachi usually knew the answer before Kakashi said it. However, today, there was only silence, and Itachi turned around to see-

Kakashi was directly behind him. Had Itachi been anyone else, he would have taken an involuntary step back at the nearness, at the invasion of his personal space, but Itachi stayed put. Not because he had something to prove, mind. He stayed because there was nowhere to go. Directly behind him was the pressure of the desk, already he could feel it. Itachi blinked at the disruption of the routine.

"I want you to be you." Kakashi responded, his mismatched eyes boring into Itachi's silvery-black gaze. Kakashi had the satisfaction of hearing the minute intake of breath that denoted surprise, the slight-very slight-widening of the eyes, before Itachi's eyes narrow. "Who do you want me to be, hmmm?" Kakashi asks, invading Itachi's space more to whisper in his ear. Itachi's hands land on his chest, starting to push away.

"I-" Itachi's words become a breathless release of air when Kakashi interrupts him, because Kakashi's voice has become higher, and childish, and his warm breath in Itachi's ear is driving him so to distraction that he could swear that he had heard- because one of Kakashi's talents is mimicking voices, you see. Moreover, the voice Kakashi has assumed is young. Very young in fact, about six-and-a-half years old, filled with vibrancy and adoration. And the tone and timbre and cadence and everything is just right for it to be-

"Nii-san, I have a secret…" Sasuke's voice, but Itachi knows it is not Sasuke in the room with them. Even as he backs into the desk from surprise, backs away from Kakashi, it is not enough. Kakashi only leans closer, his palms on the desk, his mouth to Itachi's ear in that secretive, arousing way that Sasuke does it… "Nii-san, you wanna hear my secret?" Itachi's fingers are fisting in Kakashi's shirt, but he slips free. One movement clears the desk of all weaponry and has Kakashi sitting on it, his arms around Itachi's neck. Itachi can see Kakashi's hand-sign, the transformation jutsu, and suddenly, there is weight on his back.

"What's your secret, Otouto?" Itachi's voice is faint, but it does not waver, which is not much, but it is something to be grateful for.

"Nii-san, I dreamt about you…" Kakashi feels Itachi shudder and knows he has won.

* * *

"Well, Sasuke-kun…" Sakura said, looking at the boy she was infatuated with (and her mind did not register that she said _infatuated_ with and not _in love_ with) and sighing slightly, "Your real question is: Who makes us everything we are?" Sakura finished. Sasuke blinked and she continued.

"With me, I hate to admit it, but it would have to be Ino. Our rivalry pushed me to be the best I could be. Then I met you, Naruto, and Kaka-sensei, and I strived to be better. To not look from the sidelines, and call myself your teammate when I'm always in the background." The words spilled from her mouth like snakes, hard, coils of them that could only be forced out of their warm home. Sasuke did not notice his metaphor, but in the back of his mind, he always had an affinity for snakes. "Sasuke-kun and Naruto and Kakashi-sensei always protect me. Now the three for you have made me decide that I will never let anyone protect me. I will protect others. And I don't care _what_ the cost is of that."

* * *

Kakashi's eyes followed Kushina. She was not in her usual clothes today, and the muted flash had not caught his attention at all. In fact, had she not had the distinctive hair color, he might have overlooked her entirely. He forced himself to appraise her attire, to figure out why today of all days she was so toned down as to almost pass under his radar. It would not happen again.

She wore a cape of a deep forest green, faded from washing that covered a brown velour top. Her skirt matched it, hemmed at mid-calf, overlapping high, soft leather boots, the kind that would feel supple, best used for making whips. The muted colors and simple style implied that it she had purposely avoided standing out today. With her thick, slightly curled auburn hair and high cheekbones, she had a wholesome, earthy look to her. Her eyes shone with an intensely keen intelligence and a zest for life. Kakashi's eyes narrowed. The more he saw of that bitch, the more he hated her.

* * *

People say that time answers all questions and heals all wounds.

Tick tock…


	5. One Can Cage The Pain

No one is born bitter.

No one is born broken.

No one is born hateful.

Circumstances make it so.

--------------------------

They say that time answers all questions and heals all wounds, but time goes by so slowly. And how much time does it take? Time is forever; time is eternal. Eternity is still time and yet timeless. So, how much time? The clock is ticking away the seconds. Seconds become hours. Hours become days. Days become weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, millennia, and eons. And still, certain wounds won't heal, certain questions, elude answers.

* * *

_I know this desperation…_ Kakashi thought dazedly as he let his lips be pried open by an eager tongue. _Am I going to die?_ He wondered, gathering his student into his arms and kissing him deeply. Sasuke's eyes stayed stubbornly shut, unlike Kakashi's had been when he'd stolen a kiss from his sensei. Then Kakashi knew it would likely be the last. Sasuke had the confidence of the young of this age- he acted as though this would happen again. Kakashi pulled his lips from the just-turned-teenaged boy's and set them to his ear.

"Do you know what you're getting into?" asked that mellowed voice. Kakashi delighted in the tremor that he could feel under his hands from his words. His tongue laved the boy's earlobe before entrapping it between his incisors. The touch of teeth had the young boy moaning softly, making Kakashi wondered what it was about him and thirteen-year-old boys. Obito, Itachi, Sasuke, and himself when he kissed Minato- they were all thirteen when things started.

* * *

_Damnit, Kakashi!_ The phrase was so familiar by now, if he went a week without hearing it, he went into withdrawal. Things had been tense within his team for almost a week now. Sasuke ignored Naruto and Sakura both, while Sakura avoided Naruto's gaze and stole glances at Sasuke. Naruto avoided Sakura at all costs and stole glances at Sasuke as well. Kakashi sighed. This wouldn't do at all.

Kakashi had them all back to semi-normal at the end of the day.

* * *

Itachi walked home in relative silence, his eyes to the ground, lost in thought. He could still feel Sasuke's form beneath him squirming; hear his moans and the surprised, breathy whispers that Kakashi was so good at imitating. He wanted it again. Hell, he wanted to jack off to it all over again. Only Kakashi's chuckle- Kakashi's, not Sasuke's- when he'd moaned and rolled over, wrapping an arm around him, had been able to convince him to leave. Itachi sat down for a little while, tilting his head up to look at the sky. Though Sasuke- actually Sasuke, not Kakashi- would be delighted if he returned home early, his father would have more questions for him, and questions were the last thing that Itachi wanted at this point. Unwrapping the lunch that he'd forgotten to eat, he was lost again to his thoughts until a small body put fingertips to the edge of the bench. Itachi's hand shot out and closed around that neck before his body turned to look. He found a frightened looking blonde child at the end of it. He apologized first, before letting go.

"What was it you wanted?" He asked the boy. He already knew the child's name- after all, who didn't? He was the son of the fourth Hokage. He wasn't unkind, but the child still flinched and Itachi sighed. Something maternal-paternal, I mean, no matter how feminine Itachi looks we should never doubt his masculinity in that way- Something paternal in him had him handing over the rice ball in his hand to the young boy. The look on the boy's face wasn't outright greedy, or hungry, it was more like the look of a puppy that knew food was not forthcoming. He'd never seen it on Sasuke, but he'd seen it on his missions, and he was appalled that such poverty and hunger could exist for _this boy_ in his own village of Konoha. He wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him into his lap and handed him, bit by bit, food from his bento.

Itachi hadn't known that others besides Sasuke could give that look of utter hero worship.

* * *

Naruto struggled against Kakashi's grip, screaming at Sasuke. Breaking free- or perhaps Kakashi let him go- his arms wound around Sasuke's waist and held on tightly.

"Sasuke, you can't go. You can't, I won't let you, you can't…" his face buried in the soft material of Sasuke's shirt, into Sasuke's stomach, and Sasuke had a moment of stunned surprise. Then Naruto dragged him down to his level (and that seemed to be happening more and more often lately) and put his mouth to Sasuke's in a fierce kiss. "You won't leave me behind…" Sasuke's eyes were to Kakashi's lone observing eye. It wasn't condemning or approving. There was nothing in those eyes for his and Naruto's relationship. No pity, no pride, even no amusement. Naruto's tongue wiped all else from his mind.

* * *

Minato sighed and waited for Obito with the rest of his team.

It was a long wait.

* * *

Kakashi thought that he believed in love once. That the power of love could keep someone by your side; keep them with you forever and ever. Kakashi had that kind of naïveté once. Then his father had committed Hara-kiri. After that, Kakashi no longer had the time for futile beliefs and petty dreams that in the end would only drag him down to mediocrity. Kakashi was not mediocre.

* * *

"Hey, Sasuke!" Sakura called, and he dropped down to her level.

"What?" he asked of her.

"It was you, with Naruto that one day, wasn't it." Sakura did not flinch when Sasuke glanced up at her. Her arms were crossed; her pink hair framed her face like an un-pretty picture. Sometimes Sasuke thought Sakura could be cute. Then she opened her mouth and her personality grated like Gaara's voice.

"What?" Sasuke asked, walking over to a tree and pulling the kunai out of it. He repeated the process with the rest of the kunai.

"That was you in Naruto's bedroom, fucking him up the ass." Sasuke choked, not having expected her to be so blunt. He struggled for breath, but the expected- Sasuke-kun, are you alright? -didn't come out of her mouth. Instead, she just watched him, waiting for an answer. Finally catching his breath, he answered

"No! Hell no, It wasn't me!" Sakura's hands landed on his shoulders and shoved. Hard. He landed on his ass at the base of a tree, looking up into furious green eyes.

"You can fool Naruto-san with a genjutsu disguise, but not me." Her voice was low, and slow, and angry. "I'm not stupid, Sasuke. I got the highest marks on all the tests, and I know how to tell when someone is lying and that was definitely a lie. He's in love with you, moron. Naruto is in love with you. Subversion is not like him. Hiding, sneaking around- if he wasn't in love with you do you honestly think he'd let anyone fuck him and degrade him the way you do? He thinks you're someone else when you fuck him but you let him think of you anyway and that's the only reason you can do it! Once, I wanted to make you smile. But now…" she put her hands to his shoulders and shook him roughly. "I don't care if you ever smile, as long as Naruto goes back to normal!" Sasuke's back hit against the tree successively with the last five words. "You're not just hurting him, Sasuke, you're hurting yourself. As Kunoichi, it's my job to keep the peace." The bark of the tree was digging into his back and he tried to move away from the tree, but Sakura was much stronger than he'd thought, and his struggles amounted to nothing, as he wasn't willing to hurt her. "But there is no peace because when you make Naruto hide things, he stops being Naruto. So fix it, Sasuke. Fix it, because I want Naruto back. I want our team back. And if you don't fix it…" her knee landed in the ground between his suddenly spread legs and her eyes leveled with his. He'd never thought of Sakura as deadly or dangerous or even intimidating before, but now he did. "If you don't fix it, Sasuke, I'll fix _you,_ you understand?" Sasuke nodded, hoping to placate Sakura's anger. She stood up and walked away from him angrily.

As Sasuke watched her back as she walked away from him, he really did have to wonder why he suddenly felt her as the equal she'd always thought she was.

* * *

Kakashi shook his head when Itachi's eyes disconnected from his own. His teammate's musing look was utterly infuriating. The trust that it had required for Kakashi to sit there and let him sift through his memories was monumental, and still, he did not know why he had chosen to submit to the Uchiha. There was no logic behind it, only instinct. But the only way that he would even remotely trust him was to know. Itachi's eyes never wavered, never showed an ounce of emotion.

"You like to look at the Sharingan when you're on top. You haven't been since Obito died." Kakashi looked away from the Uchiha. "You hate Naruto because he's proof that Minato and Kushina had sex, not because he's jinchurrikki." Amusement curved Itachi's lips.

"You are a thoroughly twisted individual." Itachi pulls his shirt over his head.

"…Want to be top?"

* * *

Sasuke blinked when Naruto pulled out his bento box for the first time. It seems familiar to him, and he looks up at Naruto.

"Where did you get that, baka?" the insult slides off, as Naruto realizes he has less than ten seconds to find a plausible untruth. Sakura sees his momentary hesitation. Sasuke's eyes are glued to the box, and so he misses the two clues that Naruto is lying.

"I found it when I was younger." Naruto says, because he certainly can't tell him the truth- Your brother gave it to me when I was younger the last day I ever saw him. That would bring out the very worst response possible in Sasuke, Naruto knows. Sasuke gave an inarticulate sound in response, and Sakura feels like a crisis has been averted.

* * *

Sakura followed the path like a fish swimming in a sea of leaves. Her heart beat wildly in her chest, and tears tracked her pale face. She remembered an old faerie tale her mother told her, about the Kunoichi torn by her heart into two people. She'd never put much stock in the fey story, but now she felt foolish for not having paid more attention. She put a hand to her heart in an attempt to slow the beats. She trembled still. Giving up her love for Sasuke wasn't nearly as hard as going to face him. The good of the team came first, before any personal issues. And if Naruto couldn't function properly, couldn't face Sasuke with his emotions and hated her for prying in, she would change that. Because she was the only one who could, that's why! She would **not** be pushed aside, like the Kunoichi in her mother's story- she would **not** be the wild rose that died- her heart would **not** be contented with corrupted stars- she _**would**_ change the ending to this story, even at the cost of her love. Sakura put a hand to her heart, and then wiped away the tears from her face, getting ready for the biggest bluff of her life. Seeing Sasuke, she called out to him.

"Hey, Sasuke!"

* * *

It was more than once, and it didn't mean a thing. Sometimes once isn't enough. Everyone needs to release stress.

But as Sasuke held the shaking, pleading Naruto in his arms, and looked at the sensei that he had pledged his love to, and saw Sakura leaning against a tree, waiting for his move, he buried his face into Naruto's hair and held on tightly.

"I'll stay, Naruto, I'll stay." He whispered and was amazed to find the words true. Naruto's response lapsed into incoherency, but Sasuke didn't care. Itachi would not make him anything. Itachi would not make him who he was, because, after all, his team had done that already.

* * *

Kakashi stared at Obito.

"Well?" he demanded impatiently, but was interrupted by Minato and all thoughts of his question fled his mind. Obito died on their next mission, and his answer died with him. But years later, a student like him asked the question. He got the answer.

Kakashi mused over the answer and found it similar to the question the ANBU asked of him when he completed training and finally joined.

Minato had made him everything he was, and the only cost was everything he could have been, which in the end, wasn't a real price at all.

The question asked of him in the ANBU was this: How does one remove the pain of death in oneself?

Kakashi answered as follows: There are five ways to kill the pain. One can burn the pain away with clarity of thought, One can drown the pain in the blood of one's enemies, One can bury the pain in thoughts of the future, One can let pain float away on a prayer, or One could cage the pain within one's heart and use it as a weapon.

When asked which method he used, he responded: I burn the pain away.

They let him into the ANBU without another word.

* * *

A/N: and that is the end of _To Kill The Pain._ I hope you enjoyed it. I realize I ended out on a much… brighter note than the first few chapters promised and there's no smut in this chapter, but that's how it worked out. I'm starting to realize that this would have really sucked if I had tried to make it a one-shot. No one would have read to the end, XD. I liked it when I had it all together, but as it's own chapter, I just might write a new one instead. Well, it is over now, and I'm going to push _'The Apocrypha'_ down your throats again. Go read it! I have no reviews for it, come on, people! Here's what I'll do. I'll take requests from the first three people to review any chapter of 'The Apocrypha' and say something about the story chapter or foreword read.

Also, boring? My story was boring, really? Well, sorry I wasted your time, geez.


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